I think in joeie’s example, if you truly loved that person you might stick with him/her until he/she has figured out where they are stumbling and bring them back to Christ. But if they decided to reject God outright, that’d be a deal-breaker for me. Let’s not forget there are different types of love. You could love a person dearly but when something happens, the romantic love disappears. You’d still care for the person but on some level that ‘in-a-relationship-love’ wanes and eventually burns out.

In a post-marriage context, according to the Bible there are only two grounds for divorce — infidelity (Matt 5:32) and a non-Christian divorcing a Christian (1 Corinthians 7:15). We’re talking about Christian marriage though, so the latter is out the window leaving just infidelity as a ‘deal-breaker’.

But also, people sometimes don’t too. That’s the tough part about relationships - every relationship is different, every person is different…

Great discussion! Back to the comments.

I was thinking about it in this sense - “What are the deal-breakers in a relationship?”

For me, the deal-breaker in a relationship is when you decide to give up. So a deal-breaker can exist as anything, but ultimately, the choice is yours to give up on the relationship and the person. So no specific ‘things’ as deal-breakers ONCE you are in the relationship, but just a choice to give up.

I derived this answer coming from observing a situation that occurs very often in Christian relationships:

Sally and Frank are a strong Christian couple. They’ve dated for a while & have built a good relationship. However, Frank lately has been doubting his faith a lot; whether it’s transition of life stage or b/c nothing has happened at all, Frank is unsure.

So he’s questioning his faith a lot. He doesn’t pray much, doesn’t see the point of going to church, doesn’t want to read the Bible anymore, his relationship with God is pretty blah. And this blah has been going on for a good while… and because the requirement for Sally in a relationship is “Strong Christian Man”, Sally is going to break up with Frank b/c of this.

Or in more “Christian” terms - Sally is going to break up with Frank because of unequal yoking. Or divorce him. Or whatever the context.

For me, I just believe that love really does conquer all. You stick it through the good and the bad and recognize the changing of a person, even if it’s a core thing… because you love the person.

And yet, at the same time, other people I’ve talked to DO have deal-breakers and prefer it that way b/c in their sense, it means that they do not compromise what they value and believe.

I donno. It’s a really interesting debate.

I think of it this way…

When I agreed to marry Steve, I took him with all of his flaws, the good with the bad. But he made me a better person when I was with him. And I knew I didn’t want to live another day without him in it. Because when I was with him, I was a better me.

Sure he will change and I will change…but…BUT…we change TOGETHER. When/If we stop changing together…that’s where the problem begins. If he wants life to go in one direction, and I don’t, we have to stop, and talk and figure it out to get back to moving and changing together.

He and I are two very different people than when we got married…but we don’t seem at all different, because we’ve grown and changed together. And for the most part, what we believe is the same.

But that’s just us…

ebrian… you’re right… that’s where it gets tough isn’t it…? maybe it’s the difference between being committed to love and feeling ‘in love’…

maybe when we think of marriage… it seems like we get to choose the person we marry.. and all the qualities that go with it.. but i’m convinced we often marry strangers… people change.. and grow.. core values might even change…

you bring up some good extremes.. but think about if it was your child.. who you don’t get to choose.. yet you love without knowing how they will be anyways. and should they even reject god and worship the devil… would you not be committed to loving them?

What if a person were to, oh.. i dunno.. get a sex change? Does that count? Or, what if that person decide to reject God. Or starts worshiping the devil. I know this is quite extreme, but you did say “everything”.

That last photo is wonderful!!!