February 2007

It completely floored me when Ruth Ewertt of Yonge Street Mission shared that from a survey she helped conduct that “if youth felt a sense of love or belonging at home, even with physical or sexual abuse, they most likely would not run away and end up homeless.�

Everything in me tells me that I would leave an abusive situation. However, looking back I myself was excessively disciplined and I never ran away.Reflecting on this, I can’t even call it physical abuse because as much as I hated it I always knew there were good intentions somewhere underneath it all, proving Ruth’s point.

Even the times I did leave home, I would always eventually go back, because as wrong as what I felt they did to me was, I still felt that there was still something right about home. If what Ruth says is true, I’m guessing some of the kids may have been abused even less than I was, but when they ran away, they didn’t feel that they had anything to return home to.

It scares me to think that a lack of love or belonging may be the greatest form of abuse because sadly it changes my notions of a healthy home. There are many people I interact with where there have not been any reported cases of physical or sexual abuse, but this statement forces to me to change my assumptions on whether they are in a loving home. It is not enough for my family, or the families I lead to simply prevent physical or sexual abuse.

Ruth statement makes me feel like I’ve been in shock of all the wrong things. As bad as news-headlining type of abuse is, I need to be shocked by the lack of love and belonging that is being fostered in our own homes. When I reflect on how much I am loved by my own family and closest friends, street children are no different. They crave a sense of belonging and love just as much as I do, and likely more because they have received so little of it in their lives.

I am amazed at the capacity of the human heart to long for relationship even amid abuse. I am saddened that it was so difficult to come by for so many of the youth on the streets. Of all the labels I naturally place on street kids, ‘unloved’ has never been one of them. Youth at risk are not just victims, they are the undesired, the unwanted, the unloved. I use to feel that it was naive for people to think that street children are not dangerous.Now I feel it is completely naive of me to assume that they have had just as much opportunity of experiencing love as I did.

Of all the things I’ve ever wanted in my life, for the first time, I want the unwanted.

Stellar has a bib that says “Saturday” across it. Look carefully at what it says when the car seat straps are around her.

It says “turd”! Someone else pointed this out at a baby shower party we were at.

Here are some other pictures with her new friend Cayden.

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Leaders see people as they really are, as God’s workmanship crafted with a unique purpose in human history.

Whether a believer or not, leaders see every human being as a reflection of the Creator, brimming with potential. Leaders look into people’s hearts and lives and help reveal to them their beauty and worth.

What do you really see when you look into the eyes of those around you?

(and yes, from the above photo, apparently leaders wear makeup as well).

Many people have been commenting on my Faux-Hawk recently. To be quite honest, since I shaved my head, my hair just started growing back this way. I wake up, and there it is. I’ve never put any product in it. I didn’t even know what a faux-hawk was until people started pointing it out.

Well, here I was feeling pretty good about myself having hair other guys go to salons for, until I decided to look up the faux-hawk on wikipedia.

It states: In most punk circles this hairstyle is frowned upon and considered a form of “selling out”, mainly because it allows the wearer to blend in with mainstream society when not gelled up, something that cannot be done with a true mohawk.

Now I’m walking around like a wannabe and a sellout.
Next up the No-hawk and the Skullet…

I’m teaching a series of classes of classes this March on “Experiencing God through the Creative Journey“.

If anyone else has any ideas on creatively teaching creativity, whether it’s through biblical foundations, practical expressions, or corporate experiences that can be facilitated, I’d love to hear about them.

The current session titles are:

Creativity through the Creator God
Creativity through Creation - Community & Culture
Creativity through Creating CrossCultural Environments

I have way more ideas than I have time for already, but after the series is over, I’ll be posting my thoughts and what comes out of the experience, especially if we use any of your ideas!

I couldn’t care less about Valentine’s day, but I sure do care about my wife. This year I went all out and took her to Susur. Susur Lee has a number of accolades including top ten chef in the world, with the number one restaurant in Toronto, and one of the top fifty in the world. He was also on Iron Chef, and was supposedly robbed with a tie.

My wife and I are the type of people who go to McDonald’s with coupons, so this restaurant was totally out of our league. The menu’s are set every night for a flat rate, so you never know what you’re going to get. We went on the night of Toronto’s first snow storm and was a bit worried that we wouldn’t make it on time, as they charge full price for no-shows!

The experience was phenomenal. We thought the service was ridiculous as they would do things like adjust our utensils and the menu to perpendicular angles throughout the night. We had fourteen courses of delicacies dancing in our mouths (We each had seven different courses which we shared). I’m not a very refined kind of guy, so a lot of the flavors and textures were totally foreign to me.

I’m not even going to try to repeat the elaborate details of the menu, but here’s a quick recap of what we ate: Bison striploin, Venison (deer), Seared Foie Gras, Duck, black truffles, coffee marinated Ostrich, Shrimp, Asian hot pot, Sable, Roasted Lobster, and something with dry ice coming out of it! Oh and check out the two-tiered dessert in the pictures below! Click on them for larger images.

Not all the pictures turned out as we felt a bit embarrassed because we seemed like tourists in such a high-class atmosphere. Some people in there seemed like they were so rich this was just every day dinner! If you’re interested in going or finding out more, you can find other bloggers reviews here, here, and here.

Chef Susur was making his rounds at the tables, but we didn’t have time to hang out. We had dropped Stellar off with some friends and while we were stuffed to the brim, she sounded like she was getting hungry!

Overall, an excellent night.

Christian leadership can often be a haven for dysfunctional people. Moral integrity is a primal baseline for leadership. Without an inward life that is whole and healthy, the act of leadership can often be merely an escape route. Leadership can become a way of avoiding issues of sin or even lead to unnecessary overcompensation in the good one might attempt to do.

The Scriptures call for leaders to “be above reproach�. Just as God is worthy of all of our lives, when our character is aligned with his, our character is what makes leaders worth following. Character must always be in the process of refinement.

Why do you lead, and what makes you worth following?

This is a repost from my old blog, but worth retelling.

Several weeks ago my wife caught me in the act. I never thought I would do something like this, let alone have Yvz see me this way…

One of the deciding factors in us purchasing a ps2 recently, was my wife’s obsession with the game Karaoke Revolution. I wasn’t all that impressed with it at first, but I found it grew on me with time. We like choosing the hard songs like ‘Under Pressure’ and ‘ABC’ and singing in duet mode together with all the overlapping parts.

But then it happened. Yvonne caught me one sunday morning playing on duet mode by myself. Exposed with both mics in my hands and singing both parts, I quickly explained to her how this took the game to totally new levels of excitement and challenge. She sighed and didn’t say anything, as if she was wondering why I was even explaining myself.

Then it hit me as we were driving to church. I screamed, that was Karaoke Masturbation! (Keeping in mind that I had been thinking about nothing but sex for weeks in preparation for the “Passion & Purity class I was leading).

I had been doing something by myself that was designed for two. Underneath it all, what it said to Yvonne was that I didn’t need her. What once was our pleasure, had become mine alone, to be enjoyed at anytime I wanted.

Sex before God is unselfish and sacrifical, a mingling of the souls, a sacred song sung by two.

Leaders must not only take responsibility of their own lives, but that of others around them. As leaders progress in their journey they see things as they really are. They become highly tuned to their own strengths and limitations. However against the backdrop of a dying world, what they see most, is their God-ordained role of bringing life to those around them.

This clear sense of reality drives them to serve others, as Jesus did. Jesus took responsibility of things that were not his fault – unlike Pilate who wiped his hands clean, Jesus had his hands nailed for humanity. Real leaders do not point fingers or blame circumstances or even their own inadequacies, but they take ownership of that which they can influence and serve with humility.

That’s the city of Ottawa for my non-Canadian friends. Quite possibly my future home.

As the years go by I’ve felt more tentative about church planting in Ottawa. Although I managed to see some excellent friends there, as well as fellow voxtropolitan Nate, my roots there seem to have shrunken and many people I once knew have moved away. Still, I love the city, and I always love challenges that start from scratch.

Check out the innovation of my mother-in-law. We demanded that she not spend money on a crib for the short time that we were staying there. So instead, she makes one out of an old desk, a headboard, some bungee cords, textbooks, a garbage pail, and some cushions!

Here’s my brother-in-law Norman, with Stellar standing tall