July 2006

There’s a couple of ‘girly shows’ that I’ve had a craving for recently.

Here it goes… Dawson’s creek and Party of Five.

I missed the last few seasons of Dawson’s Creek and the early seasons of Party of Five. If anyone has them on DVD it’d go a long way in quenching this gnawing temptation.

I really don’t know why I’m drawn to them… not enough tragedy and drama in my own life? I really don’t know… someone help me.

I’m adding a new category to my vox called ‘confessions’.

I think there’s something liberating about confessing. Just as the scriptures call for us to confess our sins, and as Peter confessed that Christ was the Son of the living God, I believe that confession is something that is raw and profound.

I love writing and teaching and discussing, but there’s something to be said about simple confessions. Maybe in doing so, we come one step closer to who we really are. Maybe in the midst of it, we discover the person God’s always seen and still continues to embrace.

Here’s one.

“If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful at all.” ~ Michelangelo.

I’m not sure what context Michelangelo said this, but it resonates with me deeply. I tend to make things look easy. I wish raw talent just naturally flowed from me, but anything worthwhile I’ve ever done, has usually been a result of a painstaking amount of work.

I often sleep less than most people, just to get done what regular people do in a normal day. My superman complex brushes off any effort as if it were nothing. Though seemingly humble, I’ve found what it really does, is set unrealistic standards for others, and devalues and belittles any effort they make.

and yet the Creator of the universe still embraces me.

VOXers - I posted a while back about Zooomr, a photos hosting site like flickr but considerably slickr… v2 of it just relaunched and right now bloggers can get a free pro account offering 2.5 GB of uploads per month!

Instructions are here. It just involves posting a single picture on your site like I just did below. See my zooomr site here. I’ll be flooding it with many more pictures as they release their bulk uploading tool soon.

Inspired by a recent article in Relevant Magazine by Flowerdust, I’ve decided to post up this note I wrote after an unexpected and profound experience at an event several years ago.

“Looking back, I was too consumed to comprehend all that was happening as we laid hands and prayed that Sunday night. Although I did not even know all the names of the brothers that night, as we cried out there was a unity in our humility and worship before God, unlike anything I had experienced before.What made the conference different this year was that God didn’t just speak to each of us individually, but that we left knowing we had experienced God together. I praise God for His Spirit breaking through this weekend, and I commend all the men who came on stage to take a stand for purity. God has brought such conviction to my heart on this issue over the years, I feel the need to reiterate and add to a few thoughts.

I have no doubt that the sins revealed that night are just a small sampling of what plagues our entire generation. Extending from sexually immoral relationships, to pornography, to masturbation, to lustful thoughts, people are being held in bondage especially to these sins. We are bombarded daily with images from the media and have allowed Satan to gain a foothold. These sins are poisoning the body of Christ and Christians, including leaders are dropping like flies. Though we are often found busy struggling with God’s will in our lives, one thing we know for certain – God desires that we “be holy” (1 Peter 1:15), (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). We need to adopt God’s standard of purity in our lives (see Ephesians 5:3, 1 Corinthians 6:18).

After what was shared, I pray that we don’t carry on as if it never happened. As uncomfortable as it may seem, we need to press on in our conversations, and hold each other accountable. We give Satan power when we refrain from sharing and fight our battles alone. Too often have I heard of, and have known, the vicious cycle of coming clean with God, sinning in secret, and finally crawling back to God feeling even more guilty. Accountability and the prayers of our community is the only effective way of breaking the cycle (James 5:16).

I pray that this spirit of authenticity and vision for purity spreads throughout our churches. I ask that you take a stand in your fellowship, or gather up a small group, or even just share with a friend, let’s just not sit on what God has revealed. We only close our hands to God’s grace when we hide our sins.

One word of caution with all the declarations of purity that have been made. Self-imposed rules and disciplines will not work. I’ve been humbled and have come to realize over the last while, that I can’t change myself, and only God can change me. There’s something in the heart that needs fixing and it is a God thing. Don’t let your personal quest for purity take the place of your relationship with God. Or else it becomes a form of lust in itself. We need to continue seeking the Blesser and not simply His blessings of purity. I pray we all become so consumed with Christ that there no longer remains any room in our lives for sin.

Some brothers have shared with me their fears of how people may view them following confession. If we are to truly become a community of Christ, we also need to pray for understanding, particularly with the sisters. Sisters, we need your support and prayers as well.”

Here’s another article by Sally Morgenthaler, who does some of the emerging worship stuff. She talks about her husband’s struggle as a pastor and the extremes it went to. Very disturbing, yet more disturbing because none of us are really that far from it.

If you have ten minutes today, watch/listen to this photo essay on Chernobyl.

Feel free to share what it made you think or feel.

It’s been four years since I graduated and began working at IBM and it’s been 4 years since I’ve known that this is the summer I’ll be leaving it all behind. Much praying and planning has went into this journey. I recently extended my thirty year plan into a sixty year plan… just in case I live that long.

I’ve never had a doubt that this is what God wanted me to do, though I’ve got to say, that a twinge of nervousness has crept up on my recently. With this next step I’ll be leaving the common and familiar for the seldom and unfamiliar. I’ll be trading a steady and solid income for unknown periods of debt. Most of all, I’ll be giving up a job I love and daring to live a life of love.

One of my managers was relieved it wasn’t due to any type of job dissatisfaction. “Well, I can’t compete with God”, he exclaimed. It turned out my other manager was on staff with Willow Creek earlier in his career. We ended up talking for a couple hours about life, discipline, and vision. It’s interesting how as I’ve talked to others about this, what I’m hearing is that I’m “one of those people” who actually try to do something different; something they love in this life.

I’ve got a lot that I want to do in my life, but the truth is, after looking at my life from a sixty year perspective, I was starting to draw blanks on what else I might want to do. Most of us over estimate what we can do in a year, and drastically underestimate what we can do in ten or twenty years. The way I see it, with the pace of life as it is these days, we have the opportunity to live multiple life times, having different and worthwhile careers and passions during our time on earth. I know plenty of people who have things they want to do in life, but the reality is, they’re just wish lists. Real dreams must be attempted.

I’m leaving this career, and taking the next step towards my dream of unleashing hope in others because I must. My heart demands it. And anything less would be a violation of who I’m called to be.